I hate to type that for fear of jinxing myself. But I'm trying to be as positive as possible. Waiting for the bottom to fall out of everything is an awful feeling, but it's also not healthy. I'm doing as much as I can to have a positive attitude and outlook about things, and even though it's not easy, I know I have to do it in order to be functional.
I called work, was able to get a few things straightened out with them. My Algebra tutor said she doesn't really think I need her, so I will have to get together with my Algebra teacher again, who is an awesome teacher. My algebra grade is looking quite a bit better than it was, and my midterms look to be at least a B in almost all of my subjects! I'm very pleased.
Healthwise, things are about the same. A lot of nausea, as much pain as always. It's just the way things are. I'm doing the best I can to accept reality for what it is. No matter how much I want to change things, I can't and the best thing I can do right now is work on accepting my life for what it is.
I continue to miss work, my residents, my friends that are coworkers, my "little family" a ton. The residents I have come to love like my family, and being away from them takes a huge toll on my heart. I know that being away is something I have to do, in order to get as strong as possible. I know I should be going to the gym, since I have a free membership, but I do worry about the amount of fatigue I have each day, and that working out may cause a seizure or an energy crash. If I were to work out, it would be very important for me to make sure I get as much hydration and nutrition as possible, and to make sure I don't overdo anything.
With that being said, I continue to hope for a social life of sorts. Next Tuesday there is a bowling gathering at the college, and I think it sounds like a lot of fun. It would be nice to get to know other students and just relax and have a good time. I haven't been able to do anything like that in quite a while. And, my friend and coworker is having a Premier Designs jewlery party the next day. Even though I can't really afford it, I will probably end up going just because I need a chance to see my friends from work in another environment. I need some of my life back!! And let me tell you, I'm demanding it!
From now on, I just have to see how things go. I can't get preoccupied about what's going to happen in the future. Namely what bad things could happen in the future. The fact is, I could have years ahead of somewhat stable health despite my having Mito. Hopefully, that is what happens. But for now, I insist on enjoying every minute I have with the people I love! That is what means the most. I also want to spend as much time as I can serving God by serving others. These are very important things for me to do, and they are what help keep me going in times like these.
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