Here's me, writing another blog post, when I should be writing a paper. My instructor would be appalled. It's not that I don't know what to write about, my topic is very clearly laid out for me, and I'm supposed to write about it. It's pretty much that simple. But what if it's something you're writing for Ethics? Christian Ethics to be exact.
In my college career, this will be my third ethics class, and I have to say I've (so far anyway) enjoyed all three. I started with Ethical Theory, which was slightly on the boring side. Basically, you learn about all the people that came up with theories that we research when we are learning about ethics. Don't get me wrong, it was interesting, but learning all of those theories and the people behind the theories, not so much. Next class was Medical Ethics. By far one of my favorite classes I've taken so far. Although, it was very difficult because of the subject matter. As a medical professional, a nurse usually has opinions in regard to how they feel about a particular subject, but they are also not to let their beliefs interfere with their job. Anyway, we went through issues such as Physician Assisted Suicide, committing someone who is mentally ill, and treatment of medically fragile newborns. When it comes to ethics, especially medical ethics, there really isn't supposed to be a right or wrong answer, it is entirely based on personal beliefs and opinions.
What I really struggled with is the video we watched on Physician Assisted Suicide. For a long time I had a strong belief that it was wrong, but I have realized over time, that I'm not sure I could ever judge someone for doing something when I haven't walked in their shoes. God is the only one who can actually judge, and I think it's important that we leave that part to Him. We can think that something someone is doing is wrong, but we may not know their reasoning behind what they are doing. Anyway, this was just after Papa had passed away. The video we watched for this class was about a man with ALS who traveled to Switzerland to commit Physician Assisted Suicide. I was stunned, because I had seen something very similar, though by no means the exact same thing, just months earlier. For months we watched Papa struggle against ALS, and his was further progressed than this man's by a lot. See, Papa lived with ALS for 14 years, and was ventilator dependent for over 12 years, with his ventilator dependency came paralysis, dependency on a g-tube for nutrition, and the inability to speak. This man could still speak, he had trouble breathing and his paralysis was beginning to get severe. He didn't want to linger, and I can kind of understand that. However, the video showed more than I was prepared for. It showed him actually dying, on camera. I couldn't help it, I was bawling. I wasn't actually able to be there when Papa passed away, I was working and I feel like there was a very real reason I was not there. Seeing that video kind of painted a picture of what Papa's death was like. Again, it wasn't exactly the same, but it was a very overwhelming thing at the time.
To be honest, I can't understand many things, but now I feel like I need to write. My paper awaits, and I feel like I have a somewhat effective paper in my head. I'm not sure if it will actually be with Father S. is looking for, but it's worth a try. Ethics classes tend to make me think. But I do enough of that anyway.
I need prayers. This paper won't write itself, and I have an algebra exam to take before Friday. Ugh. When is break again? It's midterm, I'm halfway there!!
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