It's not for lack of things to say, but rather, lack of more positive health updates. These antibiotics I have been on have been causing constant, unrelenting nausea. I'm nauseous much of the time anyway due to my "normal" stomach problems, but this is different. No matter what I do, the nausea does not go away. After dealing with it for several days, I finally decided (when I went in for my B-12 shot) that I would ask Dr. P's nurse to ask Dr. P to call in a prescription for PRN Zofran. I have to be comfortable, and the constant nausea is causing me to eat very little, which isn't good anyway. In the first place, my eating habits are somewhat of a problem as it is. I am only able to eat very small amounts at a time. I don't need to lose a lot of weight, but I'm fearful of losing a lot of weight. I'm also fearful of gaining a lot of weight, but this obviously is not a problem right now. I'm barely able to eat anything. Making myself eat and get through the nauseous periods is the only way I know how to take care of this problem.
With that being said, I'm almost a week through my course of antibiotics, meaning I only have another week more to go. This next week is somewhat busy, because I have my cystoscopy next week. Hopefully the doctor will have some answers as to what is causing these bladder spasms and other issues. I'm doing my best to make sure I get the answers I need. I'm also doing everything I can to advocate for myself, which is no easy task. So few people understand Mitochondrial disease, so I have to explain what is happening so that they can understand. There are many who simply can't "wrap their heads around it" so to speak.
Now I'm trying to figure things out with work. My HR director talked to me and said that because I'm not working, I don't qualify for the scholarship, but here's the thing, Dr. Pao released me to go back to work. The conditions of my FMLA contract stated that once the doctor released me to return to work, I could do so. But then it was like they completely changed everything. It hurt, it frustrated me. I told this to her, and she is going to try to get answers for me. I know the people at work only have my best interest at heart. My boss especially seems to care a great deal about me and has done a lot to ensure I get the care I need. She has her moments where she is difficult, but for the most part, she has been a wonderful friend, advocate, and kind of "adopted mom" to me. I have a supervisor, Mama Mary, who is my adopted Mom and I miss her so much. Going up to the floor is difficult because they are not able to talk, they are busy. The residents don't always understand that I'm not there to care for them. It's difficult for everyone involved. I told the HR director that the fact that I'm not supposed to work confuses me, and frustrates me. I told her that I likely would not qualify to get short term disability because the doctor released me to go back to work, and would not likely be willing to write a note so that I could get short term disability benefits. The whole situation is a huge mess. My mind is at ease a little now, but I'm also worried about the scholarship, because they already processed everything with my financial aid. I have to pray about this situation. God knows what is right and I have to pray that whatever His will is, is what happens. It's not going to be easy to relax, I have a lot of homework and things to do. But once this whole thing is situated and figured out, I will feel a lot better.
As for school, algebra is still proving to be a huge challenge. My teacher is awesome and has spent many hours on the phone trying to help me figure things out. I greatly appreciate all of the things she has done for me. We've figured out that my homework grades are consistently high but my test grades are low. So, I have talked to the Learning Center coordinator at school and she gave me some tips to deal with test anxiety. She also is going to set me up with a tutor. I hope a tutor will help me figure all of this out and sort out concepts.
I'm asking all of my friends and family to please pray for me. While things look very promising in many ways, things are still somewhat difficult. God knows what is right and I must trust Him to help lead the way for me. It's all I can do right now, to pray about this situation. I appreciate any and all prayers said on my behalf.
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