Tough stuff

It's not really that tough if you think about it. Well, for me anyway. I should be used to this by now. God knows I've dealt with things like that enough. But, there's nothing I can really do to change some of these things. For now, I will try to adapt to them as I am able.

Yesterday I had my appointment with Dr. L, the Urologist I have been seeing. We discussed many things, and as I suspected he is not happy with the fact that I have not abided by the diet. It is an extremely difficult diet to have to adjust to, but in order to have some semblance of peace in my life and to avoid not having to pee all the time, I have to do this. Yes, I said it. I have to. I came to this conclusion, now I have to execute my plan. Sigh.

Two other options for relief were discussed. There is a catheter procedure where they would use a catheter to instill pain medication right into my bladder. My only bugaboo with this is obvious. I can not tolerate being cathed without extreme pain. I can't figure out exactly why this is. I have not decided if I am willing to try being cathed again. The other option is called Interstim, which would require surgery. From what I can gather, it is a wire that is implanted and gives electrical stimulation to the nerves that control bladder spasms. Bladder spasms are incredibly painful and are the cause of my frequency and the little incontinence I do have. Hopefully I will not have to resort to either of these measures, but they are both likely possibilities, I may end up needing them.

So...I have to contemplate what I want to do. As I have already stated, I need relief so I can have some quality of life. This applies to both IC and Mito. See, what bothers me is that I have two incurable and chronic conditions, one of which is life threatening. It is not likely in the near future that Mito will threaten my life, but it is still a definite possiblity. There is also a possibility that I will be able to do most of the things I want to do; just with a lot more effort than what most people. I am committed to becoming a nurse and working as long as I possibly can. I refuse to go on disability until I absolutely have to. I am not willing to take advantages from my disease. I will not take shortcuts. I will do everything I can to stay stable and do what I want to do regardless of the fact that it will take more work or if people tell me I can't do it.

So here begins another journey.