This could be messy

I have come to a few conclusions in my lifetime. Some of them were not what I was expecting. I've come to realize just some of the people that make up my relatives. Things are messy. Addictive personalities, genetic diseases, unspoken emotions...and then there are the people who are just plain blunt. I would say about half of the people in my family hide behind either their addictions or something else and the other half come right out and say it. This weekend, I met my great aunt, who is nothing like my Grandma. My Grandma is sometimes blunt, but it can take her awhile to spit it out. Auntie D is one of those who will say exactly what comes to her mind 90 percent of the time and she isn't afraid of it, and does not feel ashamed about it. Honestly, she's a blast. And she gave me some insight as to the person my great Grandpa was. Great Grandpa was an immigrant from Scotland, and I only met him twice, only one time that I actually remember. At any rate, Grandpa was blind toward the end of his life and he lived with my great uncles. He had stomach cancer and from the impression I was given, he knew about it and did not tell any of his family. One day he collapsed and then my great uncle took him to the hospital where he died very few days later. I never really knew him, and I always wanted to. There is something about knowing where you came from.

I had my appointment with Dr. P and he ordered lab work. I am used to him ordering labs, but I was not prepared for what those labs would reveal. He ordered test measuring my thyroid function, but I didn't understand what the lab results meant. My thyroid function (T3 level) is very low, and my Reverse T3 level is one of the highest he has ever seen. So, they need to put me on a thyroid replacement. I am extremely sensitive to medications, so they are starting me on a lower dose and we will see how that goes. Currently I am already on a ton of medications, so it is going to be interesting to see how things will go. They will need to follow up on these levels frequently, and I need to go back in to either Dr. P or Dr. G (if I decide to have him take me as a patient) in four weeks to have blood levels checked. Maybe this will be a way to get me a small amount of energy back. I just don't know what to do. I feel absolutely awful a great deal of the time anymore.

I continue to hope and pray for some semblance of relief, comfort, dignity, and I don't even know what else. I am having an awful time trying to get so many things addressed. Tomorrow I have an injection in my back, it is scary but if they work they are incredibly worth it. I hope and pray things go better than they did the last time.

Lucky for me, I have a beautiful and precious angel who will surely bring me peaceful and sweet dreams. Aleia, I miss you so much and I love you more than all the stars in the sky!