Another update again.

I haven't posted in a while.
Things have been kind of crazy. What with Grandma passing away, dealing with her funeral, and trying to wrap up school, I haven't had much "me time" lately. But that is what it is. I've been trying to pull myself out of the hole I was in after Grandma died. Unfortunately, I was feeling horrible, and things were getting worse and worse with Brett. He became a person I no longer liked or recognized. Finally, I decided things would be better if I just washed my hands of the whole thing. Since then, we had a long conversation about things and finally I decided I no longer want anything to do with him. I don't want to see him or talk to him. A lot of things happened, none of them being good. So I finally have decided that I don't deserve this anymore. Honestly, it's been a lot better since then than I thought it would be. I'm doing OK.

On the plus side, this is the picture of me getting pinned during the Pinning Ceremony! I have officially graduated! I can't express how excited I am to start a new chapter in my life. Last week I started my internship and so far I am really enjoying it. After my internship, the school will submit all of the paperwork to the Board of Nursing and then I will be officially able to sit for my state boards! Time will tell exactly where I end up getting a job. Right now I'm not actively worrying about it, but I am really looking forward to beginning this new step.

I finally had my appointment with Dr. Green today. Things have been somewhat frustrating. My heart rate was 118, which is still quite high. Originally I was on Propranolol for this, then I was on Metoprolol, now he wants to switch to Cardiazem, which is a Calcium Channel blocker. The hope is that this will better control my heart rates. In addition, he also was thinking about starting me on Paxil, which is an anti-depressant, used for many other things such as chronic pain. I'm not sure if I'm completely comfortable with this, but time will tell. We are leaving the Topomax as is. The thing is, summer is coming and that is the time I am most at risk for seizures. So the less we screw around with anti-epileptic drugs, the better. He also wanted to draw some blood. The blood draws will check my thyroid function and my Vitamin B-12 level. I continue to be frustrated by the way that things are, but I'm doing my best to just deal with things and have a good sense of humor about everything. I have continually expressed to Dr. Green how I want to be functional and stable, and how frustrated I am. It is very difficult to deal with all of these health problems. Honestly, I'm doing the best I can. My hope is that they will get back to me with the results of the bloodwork very soon.

So now I'm kind of dealing with things as I can. Looking forward to a weekend filled with work. I am halfway done with my internship so pretty soon I will be done with that. June is bringing some exciting times and I'm looking forward to summer.