Ahh life

My loving aunt Lisa married the man of her dreams on Saturday, October 13th. She was a beautiful bride, she looked so happy. My aunt has been to hell and back. She was dating a man who had a heart transplant and had two sons, his name was Josh. Josh's heart began to get worse again after a period of stability. Lisa went with him back and forth to the specialty hospital that did his transplant for about a year or more, and just when he was beginning to come "out of the woods" he would get worse again. He began to get worse about three years ago and was admitted to our local hospital. At the hospital he coded. CPR was done continually to try to bring him back, but there was nothing they could do, he was gone. Lisa ended up getting custody of his children because their mother was not responsible, and she lived life with her three boys (she had a son also). It took Lisa a long time to come to terms with this loss and eventually she met Nathan. Nathan has two children, a son and a daughter whom he has partial custody of. They dated for a couple of years and last New Year's eve he proposed to her. To say that I am happy for my aunt is an understatement, she looked beautiful and she seems so happy with her family. I am honored to have been able to be a part of it. I love her very much.

For me, my life is not my own. It is owned by my job, nursing school, and sleep. Of course, I talk to Brett as much as humanly possible. I'm doing my best to get through all of this, because it is very stressful but I know it will be worth it in the end. For some reason I ended up signing up to work way more than I thought and I'm working 10 days in a row. Not exactly something that is a bright idea when I am already experiencing setbacks. It doesn't really seem to be ending either. I have been unable to keep the pain even from getting worse. It seems to be intensifying daily. Thankfully, I have an appointment with Dr. Green on Tuesday in the morning. Honestly, I'm not sure how much he's actually going to be able to do for me. Part of me is wondering if I need to go back to the pain clinic and see Dr. Singh. I really don't have a clue what else to do at this point. All I do know is that I can't keep doing this to myself. Nothing seems to bring any relief. I am fairly certain I am due for another massage, and I'm wondering if I need to go to a chiropractor also.

I don't know what to do. At this point I'm on autopilot right now.