This past week has been very trying. I thought things would settle down after this- I guess I was wrong. The biggest thing that happened this week was something I could not have prepared myself for, even if I would have known ahead of time.
My friend Bethie passed away last Tuesday. I received word of it on Saturday. She was 23 years old, and although she had Epilepsy and many other medical problems, she was one of the happiest and most loving people I have every known. Elizabeth could make friends with anyone, she had the type of personality that allowed people to talk with her and not be nervous about it. She had obvious disabilities, but people didn't look at that. They looked at how beautiful her personality was and were instantly at ease. She had a heart of gold, as was written in her obituary. She knew all of her friends by name and remembered many details about their personalities. One of the most precious and purest souls I have ever known is gone from this world, from my world. I know she isn't truly gone, but none of it makes any sense to me.
I saw her just a few months ago. I remember her saying "Sam, you coming over?" We used to have sleepovers and go the Mall, riding the carousel and eating schwarmas from Massads. Watching Kangaroo Jack and Top Gun almost every sleepover. I remember how she was always ready to give a hug or kiss someone on the cheek, especially if they were having a bad day. She was one of my best and dearest friends, even though she wasn't like everyone else. I know being different is hard, because I've dealt with it. Obviously not to the degree that she did- but she didn't allow attention to be focused on her disability, she instead almost forced people to focus on her as a person. The past few years I have not been able to see her, and I always thought I would have the chance again. Now I know that is not possible.
Her funeral was Tuesday, and I was glad to be able to attend, even though it was very difficult. The priest who gave the homily seemed to know Bethie well. He even went as far to say that she could easily be considered a Saint, which if you know priests is very unusual. But, if you met Bethie, even for a brief time, you would realize that isn't much of a stretch. They summed it up well in her obituary with a couple of phrases.
"The most brief encounter with Elizabeth would touch your heart forever"
and her mother wrote
"Our hearts are broken, but they are not broken apart. The essence of Elizabeth renders them broken open, to the fullness of life and love"
If we could all live like her, the world would be a much better place. I wish people could see how precious these people are, rather than looking at the fact that they will not be on earth long- no one knows how long they have. I wish people accepted others despite their differences. Some people are so nervous when it comes to interacting with the disabled. Imagine how they must feel, when people avoid them or say things that are hurtful. It's not their fault that they are different and most of them do not know life without their disabilities.
OK, getting off of my soap box now.
Two significant deaths in my life again. Vern's funeral is tomorrow. His wake is tonight. I already miss him.
I have to find time to reflect more about these losses, but I don't have any time. I wish I did. Soon I will be out of school for the summer and things will be more simple. Until then, I have to keep going on autopilot.
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