I'm not the "conventional" type of caregiver, I guess. Sometimes I think people mistake me for a crazy person. I work in long term care for a living, and for the most part I can honestly say I love the people I care for, and I love my job. Now, that being said, I am different than some caregivers that I have seen.
First of all, I do not discourage a resident (for the most part, unless their intentions are not...umm...well you know, different than what I would want to validate) from giving me a kiss on the cheek or giving me a hug. These people crave human affection and touch. You've heard the saying that premature babies have shown to thrive when they do what is called "kangaroo care" with their parents. The intention behind this is to give the infant that sensation of human touch. Studies have shown that premature infants ultimately do better when they have been touched by another human being than those who have not. Same goes for the elderly. Let me tell you, just because a person gets older doesn't mean they don't crave human touch anymore. In fact, they get so little of it that it can sometimes cause behaviors!
I have allowed a resident to cry on my shoulder, I held her when she cried, simply because that was what she needed at the time. She was frustrated with the situation she was in, and her emotions got the best of her. No one else was with her to do this for her, so I held her. I can't tell you why I knew she needed this, something just told me it was what she needed at the time.
I have cried when someone on my shift has died. Most of the time, it is not in front of the family. However, at times, tears have come to my eyes when the family is present. But, you know what the amazing thing is? The first family I cried in front of actually thanked me for crying at their loved one's funeral! And the way they saw it, my crying (and that of others in my job), validated the caregivers we were for their family member. I have been told by one of my coworkers, someone in a higher rank than me, that people appreciate how tender my heart is.
If I didn't show emotion or release emotions, I would become a human stone. And I feel that if I did that, and I didn't love the people I care for, I would not be the caregiver I am.
My job is nowhere near a cake walk. I deal with people with Alzheimer's disease and Dementia. Two of those people are my great grandparents. I have been hit, kicked, punched, and tripped. Residents have yelled at me, called me horrible names, and made me want to pull out my hair, literally. But at the end of the day, most of them have no idea what they are doing, and even if they do I love them anyway. Yep, I said it, I love them. And there isn't a thing wrong with my loving them. Honestly I feel it makes me as effective as I am. More often than not, I can get some residents to eat when no one else can. I talk to them, tell them what I am giving them, and sometimes hold their hand. And when I am attempting to assist a resident with eating or meeting a new resident, I do my best to be as observant as possible. Observations are helpful, because it helps me learn about the resident's habits and what usually works the best for them in regard to their daily living activities. I also do my best to communicate with residents that can in regard to what bed time they prefer, and other things in regard to their care.
I feel that God knew what He was doing when I became a nursing assistant. At first, I'm not going to lie, I didn't know what I was doing and I was not very effective at my job. It took me a long time (over a year at least) to get used to the job and all of the time management, skills, and observations that go with it. Having done this job for four years and worked for the same facility for most of those four years, I am now able to do my job effectively because of the experiences I have had in this field and the things I have learned. My nurses and coworkers have taught me a great deal about being a caregiver and also about being a nurse someday.
With that being said, we are in the midst of some rough times (with more to come, it seems) in the long term care field. The government and legislature can not come up with a budget here in Minnesota and we are facing a possible government shut-down. My hope and prayer is that the MN government can come up with a budget that they agree on. However, every single budget proposed includes a significant cut in long term care funding. That means less money for nursing homes and any other senior care services. It means staffing cuts, which we have already experienced. I continue to pray about this, because we can not afford to cut any more hours or any more staff. These people count on us for everything!!! All of them rely on us for their daily care and they can not live without us. We do everything for them and they deserve the best care possible. So, if anyone reads this, PLEASE pray for the future of long term care. It is very scary to think about, so I would appreciate any prayers anyone can/will say about this issue.
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