I am so incredibly blessed to be married to my best friend and the love of my life. He has been an incredible blessing in my life. Not very many people could handle a wife with multiple chronic illnesses. To be honest, I knew all of this, but each day it is revealed to me just how much of a blessing Justin is to me. While it's true we have not known each other for a very long period of time, we focused on what we wanted out of our relationship and our marriage. From the beginning, our relationship was seen by us as more of a "courtship" than dating. Rather than being solely focused on "just having fun," we focused also on what we needed to do in order to make this work for the long haul. Truth be told, I was scared. I was scared to trust someone to stand by me for the rest of my life, to go through all of the struggles that life throws my way with me. But somehow God showed me that even though humans are imperfect, He sent me the man that is perfect for me.
I have never been shy about the fact that I wanted to be a mother, to have a big crazy and close-knit family. People often have their own opinions about that, given the fact that I likely have a genetic disorder and I do not know the chances of passing it on to my children. Truthfully, most of the time I really do not care what people think about me. But when people tell me I do not have the right to m make my own decisions about having and family, I get really angry. Because honestly, it isn't any of their business. They can have their opinions, but they are just that: opinions. Justin and I both held the conviction that having a family was important to us. And we shared the dream of the close-knit family. So when we married, we decided to practice Natural Family Planning. Dr. L is very good about helping people with this, and it took a while for us to really get a good idea of how my body works. Around the beginning of July, Dr. L told us that we were going to be pregnant one of these days very soon. I should have taken her just a bit more seriously.
On August 6, I realized I was feeling slightly off. So I decided to take a home pregnancy test. I was shocked to find out I was pregnant! To be honest, I had several different emotions at the same time when I found out. Part of me was scared out of my mind- a pretty normal emotion for someone who just found out they're going to be a parent for the very first time. I was excited also, but I honestly can't name all of the emotions that I went through when I found out about my little. Justin was, of course, the first person I told. He was very surprised also, and had most of the same emotions as me. I immediately sent a message to Dr. L, who happened to respond the same day. We scheduled a visit and figured out about how far along I was. My due date is April 12. Baby Phillis may decide to make his or her appearance a little earlier than that, but we'll be fine with that as long as it isn't too early.
My pregnancy has already had a few complications. At seven weeks, I had some bleeding. We went in right away, not wanting to take chances with out little one. That was when we had the first ultrasound and saw our baby for the very first time, and heard the heartbeat. In just a moment, everything became so real, and I realized my life was going to change because of this baby. So many emotions flooded through me, but at that point, I was simply relieved. My child was alive! Dr. L checked my Progesterone level, which was too low. Since then, I have been receiving Progesterone injections two times a week. Words can not describe how grateful I am for my doctor, because without her this baby would not be alive. Had she not checked this level, we would have lost the baby. God knew what He was doing when he gave me the idea to switch doctors. By no means are we completely out of the woods, but we are much closer than we ever were! Now that the Progesterone is on board, we have something we can do to keep our little going. I continue to pray that God will guide my doctor, and Justin and I in what is best for our precious baby. Though he or she is only just a tiny one, I am filled with so much joy just because I know that our baby will change our lives in so many ways. God is always pleased when we raise children to know Him. And that is exactly what I plan to do.
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