Wow. It's been a LONG time.

There are many reasons it's been a ridiculously long time since I've posted here. For one thing, my life has changed drastically from the beginning of the summer to the end. There have been things happening in my life, some which make very little sense, and some of these things I can scarcely talk about to anyone. I don't know why I am so closed about my life lately. I suppose it is because I'm so scared to trust people with sensitive information. And let's face it, there's a lot of sensitive information out there where I'm concerned right now. So, where have I been? What's been going on? Well, I'll start slow.

First of all, the Energy for Life Walkathon was a success, but not nearly as much as I had hoped. My goal for this year was $1000, but I must have aimed a bit higher than I should have. Part of the problem is that I didn't start putting in the effort as quickly as I should have. I should be starting all of this stuff way earlier than I did, so that's definitely something to think about for next year. In addition, I also need to work harder on recruiting more members and fund raise more than I did. Definitely a goal, but I will say that my team doubled in size from last year, and I can only hope that this continues!

Then of course there's the issue of my grief journey, which continues to this day. November 1, All Saint's Day marked three years since Papa left us. Though it's been a long time, I still struggle daily with all of this. Soon the anniversary of Aleia's death will come also. A day that I dread every single year. However, I'm doing my best to deal with all of these feelings in a healthy way. It's definitely not easy by any stretch of the imagination. But, it's something I must do.

Things with my health have become more and more complicated. I am now dealing with severe reflux and esophageal spasms for which I am taking Prilosec two times a day. So far I have noticed very little relief. I have also been dealing with low potassium levels, and the pain is still a difficult issue. I am truly doing my very best to deal with all of this and ensure that I have some shred of dignity and sanity left. It's really hard, and I need to work on it every single day. While it's a work in progress, I feel like I'm improving every day. I need to follow up with a doctor on things, and unfortunately because of his caseload, Dr. Green is not as available as I need him to be for things. So, I'm left with some difficult choices. I don't want to leave Dr. Green completely, he's a good man, a good doctor and I feel that he has my best interest at heart. However, because I am medically fragile, I need someone who can reply to everything and take care of things rapidly. I don't know whether or not I should transfer my care to somewhere else or consult with another doctor. I have been thinking about this over and over and still can't make a definitive decision one way or another. At any rate, these issues will continue and I just have to take them all in stride.

I don't know what else to say right now, but hopefully I won't neglect this blog for such a long period of time again.

Until next time, Sami