I am feeling just a little sad today. I know that Brett and I only have five months until our wedding. And then we will figure out if the distance will be for longer or if we finally get to ditch it for good. Up until a few days ago, I was able to text or talk to him pretty much whenever I wanted without any issues (besides whether or not he was awake). However, with him being overseas, communication is more complicated. Since he's been to Cuba, I have talked to him twice in three days, but I know he's just doing that to make the transition easier for me. Realistically, with my school and work schedule and his schedule, we will not be able to talk on the phone that frequently. I'll be the first to admit that I have been really spoiled in our relationship, because I know a lot of military girlfriends and wives have had to deal with their spouse or significant other being overseas for deployment to places a lot worse than Cuba. So let me just start out with stating the fact that I know I'm lucky and that I've been spoiled.
However, Brett's and my relationship has been more apart than together. It's both good and bad. The fact that we have had so much time apart means that when we are together, we appreciate the time that much more. We cherish it! But then there are the days that I think of the times we are together and I want to cry because I just want them back. I just want him back! I hate not having him here. When he's here, he makes me feel better. He makes me feel alive in ways I haven't ever felt before. I know that sounds silly, but this guy is the love of my life, and until a person has found that, they can't understand what I'm talking about. I have done everything I can think of to make sure he knows that he is the guy for me and that even though he is so far away I can't stop thinking about him even for a moment no matter what I am doing. Yep, I've got it bad and I don't care who knows it!
So what I really have to do is surround myself with friends and family. I need to focus myself on school, work, and planning this wedding. But, just having my "eyes on the prize" isn't all good either, so I need to make sure I leave some time in there for fun also. Not sure when I'm going to do that. And I really want to make sure I get in shape for this wedding too. I am working on making sure everything is set so that this wedding is a blast. There is a ton to do between now and June and remember I am still enrolled full time in nursing school and working part time besides. Whew! I am going to be exhausted by the time June rolls around!
Well....I better get going, lots to do today before I have to head to work. Thankfully I had today off from school. Hopefully I will have some time to breathe this week. Clinicals start this week so it's going to be pretty crazy. I look forward to Brett's calls and e-mails each time. I can't wait unitl the distance is gone.
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